tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post326626194626421805..comments2023-05-13T03:35:41.092-07:00Comments on This Teacher reads (and writes): 100 words for grown ups week 35Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-44588630599638837082012-04-08T15:13:06.574-07:002012-04-08T15:13:06.574-07:00Thanks Gilly, I am presently trying a flash fictio...Thanks Gilly, I am presently trying a flash fiction competition to see if anything I can come up with gets me anywhere...we shall see :-)Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-50390625343255126752012-04-07T12:02:41.932-07:002012-04-07T12:02:41.932-07:00If you can write 100 this well you can certainly c...If you can write 100 this well you can certainly continue! have you tried asking yourself what if?Gillyhttp://lucidgypsy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-62402214390505964952012-03-24T14:47:27.092-07:002012-03-24T14:47:27.092-07:00Ahhh, you're on my wavelength, they tie in...Ahhh, you're on my wavelength, they tie in...Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-2237392326080349522012-03-24T14:23:02.143-07:002012-03-24T14:23:02.143-07:00Lots of intrigue. I think my mind works different...Lots of intrigue. I think my mind works differently to everyone else's though. All the other commenters are wondering what the letter says; I want to know who did the delivering and why they didn't stick around!Sally-Jaynehttp://www.sjbteaching.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-2897697581751360822012-03-23T11:42:06.164-07:002012-03-23T11:42:06.164-07:00Thankyou Susan :-)Thankyou Susan :-)Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-68006374719352057092012-03-23T09:21:37.117-07:002012-03-23T09:21:37.117-07:00Such a lovely piece and want to read more.Such a lovely piece and want to read more.Susan Mannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09445232725431784781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-32603575264420086652012-03-22T07:55:55.630-07:002012-03-22T07:55:55.630-07:00Thank you for commenting. 100 words I can manage; ...Thank you for commenting. 100 words I can manage; to extend further eludes me though...Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-74741802270849736542012-03-22T05:10:06.751-07:002012-03-22T05:10:06.751-07:00This is a great opener - the reader can't help...This is a great opener - the reader can't help but want to read more of this. Well done.Sandra Crookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00534491053812317718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-78443438597845508532012-03-21T10:34:06.486-07:002012-03-21T10:34:06.486-07:00Thank you :O) Kit is a troubled soul and the lette...Thank you :O) Kit is a troubled soul and the letter will help her to find her way.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-85825243300646195362012-03-21T10:33:25.395-07:002012-03-21T10:33:25.395-07:00thanks Ventahl for taking the time to comment. Tho...thanks Ventahl for taking the time to comment. Those darn hands have got me all in a muddle! <br />I would maybe change the "with trembling hands" to Shakily she began to read... or Taking a deep breath, she started to read... " <br />That's the thing with writing- can play about with it endlessly :O)Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-44745777795492535282012-03-21T07:30:01.597-07:002012-03-21T07:30:01.597-07:00THat sentence is fine IMO. 'Written in a hand&...THat sentence is fine IMO. 'Written in a hand' is a bit more dramatic than the tame 'in writing', despite the extra words. Change 'With trembling hands' to 'The note trembled as' or 'In trepidation ...' But what ever u do, Anna's right about the hands.ventahlhttp://ventahl.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-44319056541012699202012-03-20T19:33:50.334-07:002012-03-20T19:33:50.334-07:00I can only imagine what wonderful things Kit's...I can only imagine what wonderful things Kit's grandmother had to say to her!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-69705776672551172012-03-20T14:56:02.261-07:002012-03-20T14:56:02.261-07:00Thanks Alison, I thought a box in a box made it mo...Thanks Alison, I thought a box in a box made it more mysterious. Too many hands though...Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-51974221721122285032012-03-20T14:31:16.721-07:002012-03-20T14:31:16.721-07:00Thank you so much for leaving such a conprehensive...Thank you so much for leaving such a conprehensive comment. Having read it again I totally agree. The repetition f the word hand makes the last part sound rather clumsy (heavy handed lol) . I usually save a draft and come back the next day before posting...will definitely do so next time. Appreciate your feedback. Thankyou:-DAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-22957976277686561852012-03-20T14:28:38.990-07:002012-03-20T14:28:38.990-07:00eply ↓
Sparks In Shadow on March 20, 2012 at 8:59...eply ↓<br /><br />Sparks In Shadow on March 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm said: Julia, I hope you don’t mind if I copy and paste a comment here for Anna Halford. I’m having a lot of trouble getting Blogger to publish my comments on her entry. I’ll try to direct her here later via Twitter.<br /><br />To Anna Halford (I tried to leave this on your entry for this week): This feels like it’s going to be a good surprise because of the salutation, bittersweet perhaps, but welcome.<br /><br />I think you’ve written this very well, so I have only one tiny bit of critique. I’ve found that words can be tricky sometimes when we use the same one in very close sentences. Sometimes it helps to find a different word for something, or a different phrase, only because a certain repetition detracts rather than enhances a passage. One way to address that here would be to say something like: “… with her name in writing she instantly recognized.” Removing the close repetition of the word “hand” would make “… trembling hands …” read stronger. It would also give you two more words to work with, but there are other ways to accomplish this. I just wanted to give an example for clarity.<br /><br />I can’t wait to find out what’s in the letter and the box!Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-47788688849795412972012-03-20T13:58:21.421-07:002012-03-20T13:58:21.421-07:00Oooh lovely. I especially like 'Opening the li...Oooh lovely. I especially like 'Opening the lid she pushed aside the layers of tissue to reveal a smaller box and a letter with her name written in a hand she instantly recognised.' A totally delicious sentence - a story in microcosm.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726540916578169593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-18700617497773444072012-03-20T10:45:21.966-07:002012-03-20T10:45:21.966-07:00Thank you. I always like a story with some surpris...Thank you. I always like a story with some surprises in! (But not budgets!)Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03196242830270617518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6767374934878877802.post-1252552365729254012012-03-20T08:46:31.157-07:002012-03-20T08:46:31.157-07:00I loved this piece. The element of wonder and gent...I loved this piece. The element of wonder and gentle surprise....Julie Goucherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11368170005503879489noreply@blogger.com