Monday, 29 July 2024

A guided meditation on listening

 With the recent improvement in the weather I thought I'd record this out in the back garden.

It happened to be the day that the local herring gulls and dogs chose to be particularly vocal. I considered recording again but decided to leave as it was. It was a very good practice in mindful listening to acknowledge background  sounds, accept them as they were and to carry on.  I think it's examples like this that help to dispel myths around mindfulness and make it more relatable and authentic. 

So I am grateful for the unexpected background noises as it was another example of how mindfulness practices help bring balance, calm and acceptance. Thinking back to pre COVID times when I worked remotely dealing with low-definition video calls I didn't have the range of tools that I now do to manage freezes /dropped signal/ background noises/ other calls. 

So grateful to be developing these practices now.

Here's the meditation. I hope you enjoy Listening meditation

Sunday, 28 July 2024

Four postures of Mindfulness

  In Mindfulness, the four classic postures are lying down, sitting, standing and walking. If you have not tried all four, I wholeheartedly recommend that you do. Each has its unique challenges, and each has particular gifts to give, or ways in which it can help you strengthen your practice. This talk by Jon Kabat-Zinn gives some background.

Lying down is a posture that I was expecting to be the most important one having done various yoga classes and programmes where the lying postion is often used at the end of the class. In this posture, you are sometimes so close to falling asleep that you might actually fall asleep. Remaining alert can be the challenge of this posture. I have sometimes tried this posture when I have been struggling to get to sleep and it has been quite effective. However using a meditation practice to help one sleep is not struclty speaking fully mindful as you are aiming to be aware and focused on the practice.

So if you are feeling really tired then perhaps a lying posture might not be the best one if you are aiming to use it as a meditative exercise. The great thing about this posture is that, with no muscles holding you upright, it is very easy to deeply relax. You might even enter a deep hypnogogic state in which you hover in a state between sleep and awakeness. This can be a profound state of rest, profoundly de-stressing, and deeply restorative. Still, in a more usual meditation, you are both very relaxed and very alert, simultaneously. You are aware and alert, without anxiety.

The reclining/lying down posture is also the best meditation position for stress reduction. It is the best, fastest way to let go of stress and to ground your self. You can use this position to carry out a body scan or to focus on the breath. More information here . I will post a body scan on this blog in due course. 

Depending on preference you can record your own voice for a guided meditation and listen back to it, or use a recording. Listening to a voice that makes you feel calm and relaxed , or music /seascapes are a popular choice. (Although I can't listen to running water for long haha). How long? How often? Down to personal preference. I have found that a 5-10 minute lying meditation can re-energise me  as well as help relax me.  It's finding what works for you.

From lying down, the next move is the seated posture. This might be in a chair or on the floor.  It is possible to fall asleep while sitting but it is less likely to happen. The sitting posture is more alert than lying down. You will feel some of the ease and deep relaxation of the lying down posture, but you will feel more alert, more “awake” in your awareness.  Often the feet are placed on the ground which can, literally, help one feel more grounded. Again down to personal choice. I don't find sitting on the floor especially comfortable so go for a chair every time.  The seated posture is the most practiced posture around the world. This article from Calm has lots more information about positions.

The standing posture was something totally new to me and I think it is one of my favourites ( I am not quite sure if one is meant to have favourites, but this is the one that I have found fits into daily life so easily). In the Korean zen tradition, there was a  famous Zen Master, Kusan Sunim of the late 20th century. It is said that he would push himself to practice longer by practicing standing meditation with a knife placed at his throat, for motivation and to keep himself from falling asleep! Not very mindful I would argue but it's interesting to find out about different views.

Standing meditation is a powerful position. We are standing upright and using many of our muscles * Fifty-four stabilizing muscles are involved to move the bodyfrom a sitting position to a standing position. To maintain your body in a standing position, it takes most of the muscles in your body. Most of the muscles are used for weight distribution and balance*

 When standing we can see all around and are ready to move, but in this posture we stay still and focus on the breath. Some phrases associated with this posture include: bearing witness, standing for what we believe, standing on our own two feel, and standing our ground. Eyes can be closed or open. It can be incredibly grounding and give time for clarity for example in a queue, in a meeting, on the phone. I have used this at work to gather my thoughts and process before reacting, alloowing me time to respond. In our busy lives where everything happens in a flick of a switch or a click of a mouse, these times of being still, alert and quiet have been immensely supportive.

The final posture is walking. There is so much out there regarding the benefits of walking . Here's an example. I also recently read this article which is worth a few minutes of your time.

Those who know me know that I love to walk. But there is a big difference between how we walk! Mindful walking is where you are bringing your awareness to the environment, to the senses, to the beauty and wonder of the natural world. It is taking meditation for a walk and is a way to help body and mind integrate meditative practices into your active life as part of the living world. It is  conduit between stillness and movement and can be especially valuable when you have a lot of energy in your system perhaps such as anger or restlessness that make it hard to sit still. When these come visit, it is often helpful to walk for a period of time, then consider transitioning to another posture. Walking posture can be used to relax, to recharge, to take time away from our busy lives to just be in the process of walking and acknowledging how we are feeling. I have used walking to talk myself through a whole host of situations and always feel a greater sense of clarity having done so.  I said earlier that the standing one was my favourite.  It's my favourite to be able to do as and when during pretty much any situation. Walking brings me the greatest sense of clarity and calm. Lying can re-energise and help me to refocus and sitting can give that all important longer period of time to just slow down and breathe.

This is a talk from Christopher Titmuss on postures. He, alongside his daughter Nshorna, runs the MTTC course that I have been undertaking. I find him very inspiring and relatable. 

Tuesday, 23 July 2024

I'm too busy to be mindful...

 

Aren't our lives busy nowadays. Mobile phones; great at keeping us connected but also such a tie at times. 

Scrolling- that wasn't even a thing not so long ago. I am as guilty as the next person of sitting down for a few minutes and before I realise, those few minutes have stretched into a lot more. And what have I actually done in that time? 

Procrastination - noun

  1. the action of delaying or postponing something.
    "your first tip is to avoid procrastination"

And work, well that takes up a load of time, plus the commute, plus the emails to do out of work. Plus trying to keep on top of all the household things and so on and so on. Life is busy. Children have flown the nest ( how did i have time to look after them when they were at home?!) but time seems to fly past faster and faster. 

So how on earth can anyone be expected to be mindful and fit in that as well? 

For me mindfulness is so much more than finding a time to sit and meditate; it's the general awareness through daily activities. It's finding times to take a few moments here and there. For example, cleaning teeth or having a shower are great times to do a mini body scan or a listening meditation. Waiting in a queue or being on hold on a phone call are , for me, amazing times to focus on a standing meditation and also really help avoid the impatience and 'queue rage'.

Sometimes all you need is to switch on the TV or scroll through the phone, but that might not leave you with the sense of calm and peace, or re-energised ready to take on the next thing on the list. 

Next time you're in a traffic jam, or in the longest queue on the phone * Your call is important to us...thank you for waiting...you are now 15th in line...*  See if you can focus on the breath, or the sounds you can hear. If you're able to walk around does that ease the impatient feelings that come and go?   

My next upload will be a guided meditation on listening. 

Tuesday, 16 July 2024

Blog wordcloud July 2024

 I thought this would be an interesting thing to do now and then to see changes in focus.

Here it is:



Monday, 15 July 2024

A guided meditation on breathing

 I would like to share this short guided meditation on breathing.  It's about 6 minutes long and is aimed as an introduction to a mindful breathing meditation.  I would suggest a comfortable seated posture for this.


I would welcome feedback. My intention is to share a variety of meditations in the coming weeks and months of varying lengths.

You can find the recording  here

I hope you enjoy it

Sunday, 14 July 2024

Just breathe, darling

 Breathing- the physical act of respiration. An involuntary action carried out from the moment we are born until the moment life ends.

Easy , right. You'd have thought so. 

But, many of us don't find it easy at all . There are of course a host of medical conditions that can adversely affect breathing so this is not suggesting some kind of cure-all. Mindfulness can help one to focus on the breath and use it to bring about a greater sense of calm by filling the lungs more effectively and improving the uptake of oxygen and by emptying the lungs more effectively and reducing carbon dioxide build up. Stress , being busy, meetings, more meetings, filled calendars. All these and more can lead us to forget to breathe- and when we do breathe it's shallower and faster than it could be which can accentuate the feelings of stress which cause us to breathe faster and so on.

 This article article gives some more information on breathing techniques ( it's a little old so I am looking for a more up to date one)  Here is this one which is more up to date

When we are in a stressful situation our amygdala is stimulated causing the fight/flight/freeze response. Also called the lizard brain. The reactions hark back to our prehistoric ancestors who would have been in situations where they were the intended prey and would have been fighting for survival.

Catching these feelings , being aware of how we feel, can help us to STOP- stop, take a few breaths, observe and proceed gently. 

Ask any woman who has given birth  how breath can help.  

Breathing can give that time to decide how to proceed, the time to take stock of the situation and the time to ground oneself. Obviously if a bear is really about to eat you then I would 100% be saying to get the heck out of there as fast as possible, but in the 21st century, fortunately many of us are not in that situation.   But iur lives are busy busy busy (I will come to that in a future post),  there are many many external influences on our daily lives and we are bombarded with information 24/7 . 

Taking a little bit of time away to develop mindful breathing techniques, to use it in meditation, to explore how it can be supportive. Worth it? Absolutely.  All that's needed is a willingness to give it a try.

Research indicates that mindfulness practices can be supportive in a variety of ways. See here

Some techniques to try here and here

I will post a guided meditation on breathing and would welcome feedback/comments.

Thank you for reading.

Tuesday, 9 July 2024

Self Compassion

 

Here in the UK there has just been a general election. Living in a democratic country we have the choice to vote or not. This got me thinking about self compassion and conversations held in classrooms when children ( often at the start of the new school year) put themselves forward to represent the school on various coiuncils/forums/groups.

Chldren will put together the reasons for why they should be chosen and their peers then vote.

'Can I vote for myself?' is a question I have always been asked in these situations. 
The answer I have alwatys given ( and this is where you will see that my opening preamble about the election was not totally random!) : 'Of course you can. After all, everyone gets to vote and if you don't havw belief in yourself how can you expect anyone else to?'

Obviously general election votes are secret , but I can't imagine that politicians vote for their opponents.

So self compassion, self belief. Way before mindfulness was something I had heard of this was something that I firmly believed in and still do. 

So why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? Why, when we can show kindness to strangers, give to charity, tear up at a sad story on the news and be there for our friends are we so often our own greatest critic? 

Is it a fear of coming across as conceited? Is it the pressure to be constantly striving to be better.

'Where do you see yourself in five years? What's your plan? What are your goals? Here are some unachievable targets to work towards...' blablabla.  

How about the here and now. How are you doing right now? What's going well? 

I am not for one moment suggesting that we should not have goals, aims, aspirations, targets, dreams. However, it is so easy to get tied up in those. 

I am not perfect- and I wouldn't want to be. Now at an age where I have lost friends to illness the fragility of life becomes so much more apparent. I am trying to be kinder to myself, trying to talk to myself the way I talk to my loved ones when things don't go to plan. 

And does it make a difference? Yes a million times over. It takes practice and there are times when the inner critic shouts loudest, but with the practice the voice is becoming quieter.

Breathe, notice, acknowledge, be kind, process, proceed. 

If you have never had the chance to read the wonderful book by Charlie Mackesy I highly recommend it. The boy, the mole,, the fox anfd the horse. ( There are quite a few on similar themes but this is my favourite ) 


To close, I would like to share this beautiful poem written by Becky Hemsley 2023 

( You can find her on Facebook or her website here )

I know there may have been times in your life when you’ve
stopped dancing, stopped singing, stopped being yourself
because someone was watching you. Judging you.

And you are not the only one to feel this way. But I can’t help thinking that we’ve got it all wrong.

We’ve been taught that we must only be ourselves if it suits other people.

We must only sing if it sounds pleasing to those listening.
We must only dance if it looks good to onlookers.

But we are so wrong.

The birds sing - not because we might listen -
but simply with the joy of being alive.

And the trees dance in the wind - not because it looks good for us -
but because they are alive. Living in the moment. Whatever the moment may bring.

So sing as loud as you wish
and dance as much as you like.

You do not exist for the enjoyment of others.

You exist to be alive.

Properly, fully, beautifully alive.

******


Thursday, 4 July 2024

Discovering there's more than I realised to mindfulness

 'Mindfulness? That's just colouring and switching off your mind isn't it?'

'Like counselling but without any actual science or research-based practise isn't it?'

'Bit modern and really not my thing at all.'

A few things that I have heard. 

It's hard to sum up mindfulness in a way that doesn't diminish it. Yes it is about being present, yes it is about being tuned into feelings. Yes to being empathetic, kind and listening. Yes to being non-judgemental.

All these and so much more.  Being kind, showing empathy, being authentic being curious, appreciating life, self, others. Being kind.  These are some of the underpinning aspects. 

Being kind to oneself, showing self-compassion. Bit of a game changer in many ways. SO easy to blame oneself, berate oneself, criticise oneself.  

It's ok to big yourself up- to take a look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to have a fab day, and when the day doesn't go so well say that you gave it a good go.

So much more than 'put on a brave face' , 'chin-up' and other often less than helpful phrases.

Acknowledgement goes a lot lot further. Today has been pretty shocking. I am not feeling great about it. I could just not bother tomorrow. All these are totally valid thoughts. Naming, recognising and noticing them. Taking time to process, talk them through or go for a walk, listen to music, make a noise, sing, go for a run.  We all have different ways to redirect energy. 

It's not about parking thoughts, ignoring them or forgetting the past. It's about riding it out. 

I love the film 'Parenthood' and especially this gem from the Grandma:

Grandma's thoughts on life

Ups and downs, highs and lows, happy and sad. All part of life. But I know which parts  I want to focus on. 


Worry? Me?!

Accepting impermanence is often quoted as a key to adopting and embracing mindfulness. Easier said than done. If I had a penny for every tim...