Mindfully being kind

I found out this week that the image below is an ancient symbol for mindfulness: 

I read that the top of the character is symbolic of the roof of houses in Japan and represents protection and presence- sound familiar? This is the Japanese character for house:

The lower part of the character  (under the 'roof') is representative of the heart. This is the Japanese symbol for heart:

These two characters of 'mind and heart' combine in the character for mindfulness and it struck me as particularly beautiful as it really captures the meaning of mindfulness as so much more than 'being present' or 'awareness' but implies the meaning of mindfulness as being awareness from the heart.

How beautiful.

 Now I am not an expert in Japanese characters in the slightest so I have endeavoured to fact check this and haven't found anything that states that I have made an error so I am hopeful that my reading is accurate.

For me this supports my whole approach to mindfulness- being kind, being thoughtful and aware of how we all impact the world around us. I think too often mindfulness is compartmentalised, categorised and put into 'boxes' which say how, when and where to 'do mindfulness'. I see it as something far more transcendental.  It is about living, listening, caring, appreciating, sharing, loving...  And something that is too big to be easily defined. 

I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences of mindfulness but will almost certainly be giving a lot more questions than answers. What does mindfulness mean to you?  Is lt possible to live mindfully in the busy 21st century?

Can you choose kindness?

 

 

It's not all about meditation

 I have been asked to talk at a WI meeting next year. Plenty of time to think about how to go about it.

I can't help thinking about how Tony Blair got it so so wrong with an audience of the WI and the dearly departed queen got it so right HM Elizabeth II

I won't be talking politics and I am not a British monarch so won't have the level of expectation that would have met those two, but I do feel a sense of responsibilty to not mess it up! 

As part of my mindfulness course ( MTTC ) I was able to have a 1-2-1 session with an experienced Dharma teacher, Suchitra Senoy who gently listened as I shared my thoughts.  I haven't yet got a plan (I don't think I need to do 3 months ahead of time!) but I am feeling confident that I can share some insights and give some practical takeaways to the group.

Mostly I intend to demystify and myth bust and show the positives and benefits of living mindfully.

Maybe I will share a recipe at the end too ;) And that isn't me trying to be 'cute'. Go with what I beleive in, share things that I have experienced and show that mindfulness is so much more than meditation. 

It's October

 With the onset of Autumn and darker evenings and mornings there's been a noticeable change in the daily chit-chat .

'irs so cold / dark/ grey/ wet/ grim,' and so on.

I must admit that getting out of bed when it's pitch dark and chilly isn't my most favourite thing to do.

BUT ( and it's a big but) consider the alternative... What if today was the last day you had? What if the words you say to someone are the last you say or the last they hear.

Sometimes a good old moan is just what's needed , but with each anniversary of my journey around the sun I feel increasingly fortunate to be here, to have my loved ones , to have the luxury of being able to moan about the things that don't really matter. 

Mindfulness: noticing what's happening now, being aware , doing kind things. These bring a sense of calm and peace. I've had more journeys round the sun than I have left ( unless something pretty phenomenal happens with medicine !) and I want to live and find pleasure in things that can go unnoticed. 

I won't lie, dark mornings and evenings aren't my favourites, but blankets , candles, fires, hot chocolate and even more blankets are great! And all that rain is filling up the water butts nicely on the allotment! 

How to be busy and mindful.

 New job is now a couple of weeks in and I am getting used ( slowly) to being the newbie at work. Plenty of opportunities to practice mindfulness!

I'd be lying if I said I was feeling on top of everything; and why would I be anyway?! So many things to take in. But taking a mindful approach and, perhaps most importantly, catching myself when I start to overthink/overplan is what I have been, and intend to carry on doing.

The standing posture when waiting for the photocopier or in the staffroom waiting to get to the coffee, the walking from one classroom to another, the time between, before and after the lessons. Coming home and really enjoying the cup of tea in the garden ( thank you late summer sun) or inside are all times to stop and just be. All of these are manageable during the busy day. Why is there so much emphasis on being busy all the time. I have gone down that road. I choose the path of taking more time to notice and act, to think and reflect, to respond not react - and when I take an unexpected turning I'll go with it and see what occurs and deal with it at the time. 

Back to the title- how to be busy and mindful; be a little less busy and a little more aware of the taste of the cup of coffee/tea, take time in a queue to breathe and just be in the moment, go outside ( even in the rain- have a coat!) and be kind to yourself and those around you.

This is one of my favourite quotes and I will unashamedly keep sharing it. 

What is mindfulness?

Read an interesting piece this morning Here

Interesting to read views around the monetisation of mindfulness. Also some examples of businesses using it in a non mindful way 

Currently, mindfulness is unregulated in the UK as it's not a medical service in the way that seeing a psychiatrist or a counsellor is, but it's still a service that can support vulnerable people and therefore a mindfulness teacher has a duty of care to ensure the safety and confidentiality of participants.

I'm hoping to develop my practice and ultimately take classes/sessions and would ideally provide at no cost.  Employers have to take care of their employees ( well I'm not sure they HAVE to, but the good ones do) and money is put aside for CPD in many organisations. Wouldn't it be great for mindfulness to be recognised as a great way to support people . Prevention better than cure and all that. 

Rather than pay lip service and offer a one hour mindfulness/yoga session every now and again or just as a one off so that it can go into the HR folder, why not investigate providing regular sessions for staff to support their wellbeing . Within the working day.

Being part of a group of around 80 mindfulness teachers nearing completion of the MTTC run by Christopher Titmuss and his daughter Nshorna with support from mindfulness teachers from the US, Germany and India is a real.ptivilige and I'm excited to see where we all take our mindfulness practice moving forward. 

What is mindfulness? Something worth exploring.

"Mindfulness isn't difficult, we just need to remember to do it."

- Sharon Salzberg

How to be mindful in three steps

 

©  Charlie Mackesy

I love this quote from The boy, The mole,The fox and the horse . So much so that I have a T shirt with this on. 

Three steps to mindfulness:

1) Be kind 

2) Be kind 

3) Be kind 

By being kind to our friends and family (quite easy); to ourselves (harder) and to strangers,the wider world and even those who may have wronged us (harder still) we are recognising that observed, considered  responses can bring calm, peace, joy; they can de-escalate a situation; they're the antithesis to drama .

And it can be contagious. 

August Wordcloud

 This is the wordcloud for this month. I will be interested to see how these change moving forward...

Self Compassion

 

Here in the UK there has just been a general election. Living in a democratic country we have the choice to vote or not. This got me thinking about self compassion and conversations held in classrooms when children ( often at the start of the new school year) put themselves forward to represent the school on various coiuncils/forums/groups.

Chldren will put together the reasons for why they should be chosen and their peers then vote.

'Can I vote for myself?' is a question I have always been asked in these situations. 
The answer I have alwatys given ( and this is where you will see that my opening preamble about the election was not totally random!) : 'Of course you can. After all, everyone gets to vote and if you don't havw belief in yourself how can you expect anyone else to?'

Obviously general election votes are secret , but I can't imagine that politicians vote for their opponents.

So self compassion, self belief. Way before mindfulness was something I had heard of this was something that I firmly believed in and still do. 

So why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? Why, when we can show kindness to strangers, give to charity, tear up at a sad story on the news and be there for our friends are we so often our own greatest critic? 

Is it a fear of coming across as conceited? Is it the pressure to be constantly striving to be better.

'Where do you see yourself in five years? What's your plan? What are your goals? Here are some unachievable targets to work towards...' blablabla.  

How about the here and now. How are you doing right now? What's going well? 

I am not for one moment suggesting that we should not have goals, aims, aspirations, targets, dreams. However, it is so easy to get tied up in those. 

I am not perfect- and I wouldn't want to be. Now at an age where I have lost friends to illness the fragility of life becomes so much more apparent. I am trying to be kinder to myself, trying to talk to myself the way I talk to my loved ones when things don't go to plan. 

And does it make a difference? Yes a million times over. It takes practice and there are times when the inner critic shouts loudest, but with the practice the voice is becoming quieter.

Breathe, notice, acknowledge, be kind, process, proceed. 

If you have never had the chance to read the wonderful book by Charlie Mackesy I highly recommend it. The boy, the mole,, the fox anfd the horse. ( There are quite a few on similar themes but this is my favourite ) 

To close, I would like to share this beautiful poem written by Becky Hemsley 2023 

( You can find her on Facebook or her website here )

I know there may have been times in your life when you’ve
stopped dancing, stopped singing, stopped being yourself
because someone was watching you. Judging you.

And you are not the only one to feel this way. But I can’t help thinking that we’ve got it all wrong.

We’ve been taught that we must only be ourselves if it suits other people.

We must only sing if it sounds pleasing to those listening.
We must only dance if it looks good to onlookers.

But we are so wrong.

The birds sing - not because we might listen -
but simply with the joy of being alive.

And the trees dance in the wind - not because it looks good for us -
but because they are alive. Living in the moment. Whatever the moment may bring.

So sing as loud as you wish
and dance as much as you like.

You do not exist for the enjoyment of others.

You exist to be alive.

Properly, fully, beautifully alive.

******

Discovering there's more than I realised to mindfulness

 'Mindfulness? That's just colouring and switching off your mind isn't it?'

'Like counselling but without any actual science or research-based practise isn't it?'

'Bit modern and really not my thing at all.'

A few things that I have heard. 

It's hard to sum up mindfulness in a way that doesn't diminish it. Yes it is about being present, yes it is about being tuned into feelings. Yes to being empathetic, kind and listening. Yes to being non-judgemental.

All these and so much more.  Being kind, showing empathy, being authentic being curious, appreciating life, self, others. Being kind.  These are some of the underpinning aspects. 

Being kind to oneself, showing self-compassion. Bit of a game changer in many ways. SO easy to blame oneself, berate oneself, criticise oneself.  

It's ok to big yourself up- to take a look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to have a fab day, and when the day doesn't go so well say that you gave it a good go.

So much more than 'put on a brave face' , 'chin-up' and other often less than helpful phrases.

Acknowledgement goes a lot lot further. Today has been pretty shocking. I am not feeling great about it. I could just not bother tomorrow. All these are totally valid thoughts. Naming, recognising and noticing them. Taking time to process, talk them through or go for a walk, listen to music, make a noise, sing, go for a run.  We all have different ways to redirect energy. 

It's not about parking thoughts, ignoring them or forgetting the past. It's about riding it out. 

I love the film 'Parenthood' and especially this gem from the Grandma:

Grandma's thoughts on life

Ups and downs, highs and lows, happy and sad. All part of life. But I know which parts  I want to focus on.