Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Secrets...

I have been reading through the nanowrimo that I did back in June and have started the editing process. It's interesting reading something after leaving it for a period of time as it has highlighted the areas which, although crystal clear in my mind, don't actually either make sense or confuse the reader.
So, I am trying to put some sense and order into it.
I'm really not sure what I will do with it once I have tweaked it; a couple of my work colleagues have asked to read it as have my Mum and sisters; at the moment it's a long long way from ready.
So, dear blog followers, I am going to throw myself wide at your valued opinions and put some extracts on here.
I don't want to give the story away so will be posting parts from various points in the story. I would very much appreciate feedback- pan it if that's what you think!
Thanks in advance.


This is a part of the backstory; set in the late 1960's


“And I’ve got... ‘til forever! Come on let’s go!” and taking her hand he pulled her towards the wood, “I’ve something to show you!” 
Kit went to pick up the spilled lunch. “Leave that, for now, you’ll see why!” She let him take the  lead along the familiar paths; they’d been meeting here for picnics regularly and had spent many an afternoon in the woods exploring. Henry’s parents had taken over the village pub, the Cat and Fiddle,  two years ago. Kit’s father, Albert,  had been a frequent patron there. Too frequent for his own good .
 Since his untimely death the previous summer,  Kit had spent more and more time with Henry and his family. Kit’s mother had taken her husband’s death badly and had thrown  herself into her cleaning jobs. Most evenings she was so exhausted  she fell asleep in her arm chair  not to wake until  long after Kit had gone to bed. The weekends were spent making half-hearted efforts at conversation to enquire of school and friends. She hadn’t noticed how infrequently Kit’s friends came over, nor did she notice how much time Kit had been spending with Henry. It suited them both for Kit to be out of the house so much. Her mother didn’t question and Kit didn’t volunteer the answers.  



This is a bit from later which is set in the 1980s (I set it then because that's a period of time that I know about - also because of the lack of technology and social networking that nowadays makes it so much easier to trace people...)




It had been a mistake coming. What  had  she hoped to achieve? Was she going to learn anything that would undo what had happened in the past? “What’s done is done!” She remembered those words from her mother. The past can not be changed. She had a future with Nigel. She could just go home now, home to him, tell him what she could and finally lock it all away forever. Forget the solicitor. What was he going to tell her? That she had been left a fortune- no chance of that. Gran had never had any money. The war pension had helped her to make ends meet, but there was not going to be a fortune waiting for her. She pulled over to the side of the road and beat her hands against the steering wheel. She wanted someone to make the decisions for her, to tell her what to do. But who?
  No,  she had to make that appointment. The wounds had been reopened and  she had come this far, to turn back now was not going to ease her pain. Maybe she would at last find out what it was that her Grandmother had known all those years ago.  Whatever it was she didn't want to hear it from her mother, she could never forgive her for what she had done.



You'll notice that I have used the name Kit - one of the names I have used in various 100wcgu . The inspiration for the story came about from one of the 100 word pieces I wrote a while back. I rather like the name and it seems to suit the character. 

Thank you again for reading...











2 comments:

  1. The first excerpt you shared confused me. Like the bit of conversation in its second paragraph - I'm not sure who's talking. (It would help a little if there were spaces between your paragraphs.) And it was heavy with exposition that didn't draw me in or make me curious about your characters.

    In the second excerpt, I think there's some kind of mystery and your character is frustrated and torn between all the directions she can go with it and whether or not she wants to know the complete truth at all. That's what I got out of it, but it didn't draw me in either.

    In a few of your 100 word stories, I've noticed a glimpse of what you're capable of, a certain kind of style combining a sense of poetry and an angle on the piece that feels fresh. Those are what I miss here, especially without knowing how the story begins. Sometimes a story's beginning is so full of emotion, or visual, or maybe inventive -- the introduction to the characters so strong -- that the reader will follow you just about anywhere after.

    I wasn't pulled in by these excerpts, yet I can tell that there is a story here that I could possibly find interesting.

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  2. Thanks for taking time to read and comment. You're right...it isn't obvious who is talking in the first extract...will sort that out!
    It is impossible to guess at the story; maybe I should put the beginning to see if it has any hooks or not; watch this space.
    Thanks again,I appreciate your honesty.

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