HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
It's been a while since I last blogged.
I have completed my Grandad's memoirs- hurrah. He was delighted with them so I am very pleased to have achieved what I set out to do. It has been wonderful finding out so much about him and his time in the war and his working life. I hope the rest of the family enjoy it.
Term starts for me tomorrow and I have just about got the planning finished. I never plan too far ahead as it changes on a daily basis depending on the needs of the children; but it still takes what seems like an age.
I am now going to edit my nanowrimo in earnest and see if I can manage to get a few more of these 100wcgu completed now.
I also must get the decorating done. My lovely hubby and son worked out that if I keep on the present rate it will take me nine years to finish so I need to hurry up a bit!! Will do some after lunch...
Anyway, enough prevarication.
This week's prompt from Julia is
... you said you’d do WHAT?….
Read all about it at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week72/
Here is my effort. One of my aims this year is to tell less to the reader! I will try.
Feedback is always welcomed- (comments are moderated to avoid spam) If you don't like it please tell me why!!
Read the rest over at http://www.linkytools.com/wordpress_list.aspx?id=179012&type=basic
WEEK 72
Clouds of smoke swirled as Big Jake exhaled. He stared penetratingly
at Mickey.
“You said you’d do what?”
“Well, uh, I sorta thought it would help the guys.”
“You did, did ya?”
“Jonny said he’d help. ”
“Hell no, it’s the
first I’ve heard of it Boss. We gotta cut him loose, know what I mean?”
“Now c’mon guys, it’ll be cool. We’ll be outta there before
you know it. All I need is...”
Big Jake leant forward and blew a cloud of cigar smoke in
Mickey’s face. “All you need kid is to go back and tell them you’re not gonna
do it.”
Nice to see you back Mrs H :-) I liked this - it had a really sinister feel to it.
ReplyDeleteI had to read it a couple of times to work out who was saying what, so I would suggest have something to break up the dialogue (maybe something like Jonny spitting on he grass or scratching his bum) just to help clarify the speaker. Hope that makes sense.
I agree...my first draft had shuffling feet, nail chewing (no bum scratching!) But was wayyyyy over the 100words. I so admire those who can do 100 words and get everything in.
DeleteI will just have to keep trying :-)
I can't help picturing him as a bum-scratcher but maybe that's just me! I agree - I really admire those who can fit all the extra details into 100 words.
DeleteNow I really enjoyed this - the dialogue was great - really heard the American twang in my head.
ReplyDeleteThanks, was trying to convey a seedy group of gang members.
DeleteGood but rather confusing. There are three characters, right? I think that might be too many for 100 words.
ReplyDeleteI tried with two, but it seemed too contrived..but Iagree that 3 are too many in such a short piece!
DeleteI agree about the 'voice' of the characters - comes through with real authenticity. Good to have you back (let's both try to stick with it!
ReplyDeleteHot diggety dang, I liked the characterisation in the voices too!
ReplyDeleteYou painted no scenery but I could see the three sitting in a faraway wilderness or an old shack putting the final touches on a dangerous scheme.
ReplyDeleteI am using http://marvalously.wordpress.com/ but i can never get it registered so I have submitted as anonymous.