Tuesday, 1 November 2011

100 word challenge for grown ups week 17

This week's challenge from Julia  http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-17/ is based on the seasonal chant:
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot…
The challenge this week is to write something with the same rhythm using only 21 words that include ‘ …in winter we shiver…‘ 

Well, I have tried and tried to use 21 words AND keep the rhythm AND make some sort of sense! I have just about managed the second two but can't get down to 21 words without losing sense. I have whittled it down to 24 words... hope that Julia will forgive me the extra 3 :)  
Go on, if you are reading this and have not yet had a go, why not make this the first week you do so? I haven't read the other entries yet this week; thought I would do mine first. You can find all the entries on Julia's blog on the above link. 
Here we go...

In winter we shiver,  noses a'quiver
Bracing ourselves 'gainst the cold.
Wind, hail and rain, it's Christmas again
Thoughts of frankincense, myrrh and gold.


24 comments:

  1. I don't care that it's 3 words over. It reads beautifully!

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  2. Thanks Sally- Jayne. There are some great entries this week; not seen yours yet?

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  3. Ditto, SJ, and I admit to bending the rules myself! :D

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  4. I also used more words - 25, as we are usually exempt from counting the words in the prompt so I didn't count them in my 21. Sometimes you have to take liberties in life :)

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  5. Well, rules ARE made to be broken after all! (sorry Julia!)

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  6. Beautiful was very much the word that came to mind,even before viewing other comments. Good job! What's three words over : ) G Sussex

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  7. I think the word count was the toughest part! Love it nonetheless!!

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  8. Love the outlook, Christmas again! Robin

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  9. I love that! I can't get down to 21 words and was so pleased with what I had done but have had to scratch it. Well done you to be brave and break the rules.

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  10. Thank you for these kind comments. It really has made me think carefully about how I present ideas to my class, and I know I'm a lot more understanding when they just can't get started.

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  11. I love this one! Puts me in the spirit, and I certainly need it after a challenge like this. Well done.

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  12. That is lovely. I love how you have managed to move through time with the reference to the gifts of the Magi. I realised a few years ago, how difficult it is to create character, setting and plot at 7 or 8 years old. So now I concentrate on that which I want them to create, e.g. setting, and provide characters and plot (when writing narrative) that they can use if they choose. The quality of writing has improved enormously.

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  13. Thanks for the comments. Alison, I totally agree. Blank pieces of paper very scary for children. Some prompting can make all the difference.

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  14. This is wonderful, I love it! I, too, had to whittle mine down from far too many words :)

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  15. Thank you :) Have loved reading all this week's entries

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  16. I think you did an excellent job!

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  17. Beautifully done, Anna. I can forgive you the extra few words when all the other boxes are ticked.

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  18. You are forgiven! This is a super piece. It is that third line that is the killer. You have linked the weather that we experience at his time of year brilliantly and given us hope at the end. Many thanks for persevering Ann! Well worth the effort!

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  19. Thanks Dughall. Did try again to get 21 words but no joy.

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  20. Thanks Julia. There were somw brilliant entries this week. Maybe we should collate them into a book?

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  21. It reads wonderfully, but then you did cheat ;) Beautiful winter poem.

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  22. Yep I did indeed Livi ;) Hope it's NOT a poetry prompt next week...find it an uphill struggle!

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