Tuesday 1 November 2011

100 word challenge for grown ups week 17

This week's challenge from Julia  http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-17/ is based on the seasonal chant:
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot…
The challenge this week is to write something with the same rhythm using only 21 words that include ‘ …in winter we shiver…‘ 

Well, I have tried and tried to use 21 words AND keep the rhythm AND make some sort of sense! I have just about managed the second two but can't get down to 21 words without losing sense. I have whittled it down to 24 words... hope that Julia will forgive me the extra 3 :)  
Go on, if you are reading this and have not yet had a go, why not make this the first week you do so? I haven't read the other entries yet this week; thought I would do mine first. You can find all the entries on Julia's blog on the above link. 
Here we go...

In winter we shiver,  noses a'quiver
Bracing ourselves 'gainst the cold.
Wind, hail and rain, it's Christmas again
Thoughts of frankincense, myrrh and gold.


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24 comments:

  1. Sally-Jayne1 November 2011 at 04:50

    I don't care that it's 3 words over. It reads beautifully!

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  2. Anna1 November 2011 at 05:06

    Thanks Sally- Jayne. There are some great entries this week; not seen yours yet?

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  3. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 05:38

    Lovely. Truly lovely.

    Lisa

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  4. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 07:33

    Ditto, SJ, and I admit to bending the rules myself! :D

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  5. Midlife Singlemum1 November 2011 at 08:18

    I also used more words - 25, as we are usually exempt from counting the words in the prompt so I didn't count them in my 21. Sometimes you have to take liberties in life :)

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  6. Anna1 November 2011 at 08:27

    Well, rules ARE made to be broken after all! (sorry Julia!)

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  7. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 13:40

    Beautiful was very much the word that came to mind,even before viewing other comments. Good job! What's three words over : ) G Sussex

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  8. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 13:47

    I think the word count was the toughest part! Love it nonetheless!!

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  9. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 14:03

    Love the outlook, Christmas again! Robin

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  10. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 14:15

    I love that! I can't get down to 21 words and was so pleased with what I had done but have had to scratch it. Well done you to be brave and break the rules.

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  11. Anna1 November 2011 at 14:50

    Thank you for these kind comments. It really has made me think carefully about how I present ideas to my class, and I know I'm a lot more understanding when they just can't get started.

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  12. Anonymous1 November 2011 at 22:49

    I love this one! Puts me in the spirit, and I certainly need it after a challenge like this. Well done.

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  13. Unknown2 November 2011 at 01:31

    That is lovely. I love how you have managed to move through time with the reference to the gifts of the Magi. I realised a few years ago, how difficult it is to create character, setting and plot at 7 or 8 years old. So now I concentrate on that which I want them to create, e.g. setting, and provide characters and plot (when writing narrative) that they can use if they choose. The quality of writing has improved enormously.

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  14. Anna2 November 2011 at 14:58

    Thanks for the comments. Alison, I totally agree. Blank pieces of paper very scary for children. Some prompting can make all the difference.

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  15. bubbleboo4 November 2011 at 07:57

    This is wonderful, I love it! I, too, had to whittle mine down from far too many words :)

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  16. Anna4 November 2011 at 11:15

    Thank you :) Have loved reading all this week's entries

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  17. William Dameron4 November 2011 at 15:44

    I think you did an excellent job!

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  18. Dughall McCormick4 November 2011 at 18:27

    Beautifully done, Anna. I can forgive you the extra few words when all the other boxes are ticked.

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  19. Anna5 November 2011 at 05:45

    Thanks Bill

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  20. jfb575 November 2011 at 10:04

    You are forgiven! This is a super piece. It is that third line that is the killer. You have linked the weather that we experience at his time of year brilliantly and given us hope at the end. Many thanks for persevering Ann! Well worth the effort!

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  21. Anna5 November 2011 at 10:12

    Thanks Dughall. Did try again to get 21 words but no joy.

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  22. Anna5 November 2011 at 10:13

    Thanks Julia. There were somw brilliant entries this week. Maybe we should collate them into a book?

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  23. Unknown5 November 2011 at 11:03

    It reads wonderfully, but then you did cheat ;) Beautiful winter poem.

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  24. Anna6 November 2011 at 08:49

    Yep I did indeed Livi ;) Hope it's NOT a poetry prompt next week...find it an uphill struggle!

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