This week's challenge was to use the prompt, "are you sure it should be that colour" in dialogue. So here goes. Qute different to what I would normally do. Well done Julia, you've come up trumps again with a fab idea. You can find the prompt at
I am going to take a look at the other entries which can be found here http://www.linkytools.com/wordpress_list.aspx?id=116550&type=basic
Here's mine.
“O... M... G...!” gasped Shaz as her Mum came downstairs.
“And a good morning to you too. If you open your mouth any wider you’ll dislocate your jaw.”
“But, I mean, Mum, Um?”
“What are you gibbering about?”
“Have you actually looked in the mirror this morning?”
“Yes of course . Why?”
“You have? Hello? Earth calling Mum.”
“Shaz, I’m starting to lose patience with this.”
“Just go and look in the mirror OK, and I mean really look in the mirror.”
“Fine.”
Mum walks to her room and returns with mirror in hand. “And?”
“Mum, you’re scaring me now, I mean, how come you’re not like really freaking out?”
“Freaking out? Why on earth would I do that?”
“But Mum, your face!”
“Oh that, well I told you I was having that treatment, you know the one : nomorelines’r’us.”
“Yes, but are you sure it should be that colour?”
“Only for a day or so...”
What we do to ourselves in the name of beauty. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteWorth burning the top layer off your face to get rid of a few wrinkles - methinks not. Well written though, I wasn't expecting the end.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this how new fashion trends start?
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine the colour of the face! Only for a day or two ... classic. Love it.
ReplyDeleteI really like this, Anna! The characterisation you establish within some brief dialogue is really very effective.
ReplyDelete@lisa, thankyou ; felt the prompt lnt itself to vain lady!
ReplyDelete@taochild...indeed; but I hope it stays that colour!
ReplyDelete@midlifesinglemum serve her right for the colour to stay! As Iwrote I decided Mum wasn't really my kind ofperson!!
ReplyDelete@alison thanks Ali. I loved yours...had a really unexpected outcome.
ReplyDeleteThankyou Dughall, Shaz is my favourite of the two...she has some sense!
ReplyDeleteI've just used Fourocil on my face for a month, which peels off/burns off keratosic skin. I got Shaz's reaction more than once from co-workers, not to mention my spouse. Turns out that there are many, many different shades of red.
ReplyDeleteLoved it! Still laughing.
ReplyDeleteYou really nailed the conversation and the words a teenager would use (also the embarassment). Excellent.
ReplyDelete@ joem18b thanks for your comment. I think the Mum in this piece did it for vanity rather than necessity. Hope that your treatment is successful.
ReplyDelete@sparks in shadow. Thanks; I find humorous writing very challenging; humour is so personal. Glad you liked it.
@Bill Thanks, thought of some of my son's phrases and tried to recreate teentalk.
And the moral to that story is love your wrinkles! Great piece.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! Every wrinkle tells a story ;)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. And yes, teenager to a T (ee)!
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue in this is so realistic. I can picture the colour of mum's face and the look of horror on Shaz's face really clearly! Another fantastic entry, Anna.
ReplyDeleteThanksLorely, tried to capture that teentalk;it's a language in its own right.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sally-Jayne. Really wasn't sure where to start with this one.
ReplyDeleteLove that you wrote about the color red without ever describing it.
ReplyDeleteRobin
From GSussex
ReplyDeleteGreat! And who is she trying to kid re. the colour?!
lol - teenager telling Mum off for how she looks in the mirror - that's rich!
ReplyDeleteBut then, 'growing old gracefully' is perhaps as important as not being 'too old before your time'
The Daughter is the teacher here! I like it :o
I love the idea of 'Nomorelines'r'us! Brilliant! As for the piece, it is a great exchange between the two. It would normally be reversed so that gives it an extra twist. Brill!
ReplyDeleteThank you for those comments, glad you liked it. Like to show a positive side to teenagers!
ReplyDeleteLove this, what we do to ourselves. x
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan...I'd be too scared to try anything like that no matter what it promised...
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