Tuesday, 24 July 2012

100 word challenge week 51


I haven't had much time these last few weeks with the end of term craziness that all teachers will be familiar with. 
And now summer has finally arrived and I am sitting in the garden, shaded by the parasol with the hum of bees in the fuchsia beside me, two contented cats sprawled out on the patio, a cloudless blue sky, a gentle breeze and a glass of Pimms  water (it's only just after four in the afternoon; far too early for that just yet!) by my side. 
I have just about managed to resist rereading my campnanowrimo piece just yet- leaving it for a while longer before some major editing and maybe then I will share some here as I would love some feedback.
I am very lucky to be heading off to the Dordogne at the end of the week- surrounded by vineyards and no wifi to be found. I have a notebook ready for writing in while I am away in between the pile of books I plan to read...
This week's prompt from Julia was …. the line was drawn …. 


Here is my contribution. Thanks for reading. Comments, as always, welcomed :)


You said what?

He stopped as though someone had pressed pause. His fork hovered between plate and mouth, spaghetti strands unwinding in slow motion before rejoining the others.
“You’re what?” he spluttered.
“You heard. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t. You’re nothing without me.” he placed his fork on the table adjusting it until it was at precisely 90 degrees to the table’s edge.
“It’s over.” she pushed the piece of paper across the table. He picked it up to see the line was drawn through their surname.
As she walked towards the door she ran her hand along the
 row of perfectly aligned pictures leaving each one askew.




Read the others at http://www.linkytools.com/wordpress_list.aspx?id=155445&type=basic





30 comments:

  1. ooohh bet that annoyed him - i know how that feels sometimes wanting everything perfect ocd wise! wonder if thats why she is divorcing him? good work!

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting! Control freak too...

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  2. Brilliant! What a superb parting shot. I bet he was a right royal pain...

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    1. Thanks...I imagine it would be exceptionally hard work having to have everything just so!

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  3. What a witch, he's well shot of her. Any woman who could leave the paintings askew needs to do some serious work on her character. #Justkidding I love her parting gesture it's perfect.

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    1. Lol, thanks. It is so hard writing 100 words ! I waffle on better!

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  4. A great piece, good on her. Enjoy your rest and relaxation in France, it sounds as though it will be a well deserved vacation.

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    1. Thank you. I think that I gave a bit too much away...need to work on that..give more subtle clues. Two wks in the sun might help..

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  5. At the end, I was glad she was fixing the mistake of having married him, and that she had no fear of violence from him. She's one of the lucky ones.

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    1. Indeed. Thanks for reading. :)

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  6. Wow.
    That was great
    And off
    Kil
    t
    er
    And un-
    Expected.
    What a punch!
    Wow.

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  7. This was great. Loved the spaghetti unwinding itself. He sounds obsessive and controlling.

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    1. Thanks; my first draft was +200 words; it is so tricky writing just 100 words; but cuts out the waffley parts :)

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  8. "You’re nothing without me." Who does he think he is? Well done her, and well done you!

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    1. Thanks- yes, anyone who says that to someone deserves to be on their own ;)

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  9. Oh my goodness! Being married to an OCD sufferer I know the urge to disturb. It can get you to screaming pitch! Thankfully it has never been THAT bad! Great piece!

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    1. Thank you; I didn't want to trivialise it because it IS a big problem for many people (and many people demonstrate aspects of it at some point). I had an idea of a woman who had been pushed to breaking point and if she didn't get out would live to regret it... Look, I'm off...this is why I find 100 words so tricky! :)

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  10. the whole scene was there and easy for the reader to be a part of ...well done! :)

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

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  11. A great story.
    I loved the end - nothing like going out on a high!

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    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment... I think she messed a few other things too but I couldn't fit them all in ;)

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  12. I really like this. I love how your details allow us to get such a clear vision of these characters and their relationship, in so few words.

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. It would be interesting to try to write in 50 words or 200 too.

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  13. Lovely. What a perfect little act of self-assertion. Adding insult to injury can be fun!

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    1. I reckoned that she had not had a lot of fun in that marriage...

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  14. Such lovely details that say so much Anna,especially the last line.Brilliant!

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    1. Thankyou :0) just back from hols...will try to catch up on the ones I missed...

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  15. It's always a shame when something that is supposed to be so sacred of marriage falls apart at the seams.
    Very dark and ultimately realistic. Good work!

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    1. I was trying to create darkness; thanks for your comments, much appreciated.

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