Well, I am always up for a challenge and my goodness me Julia has pulled out all the stops this week.
( http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week38/ )
( http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week38/ )
A sonnet!? After some reading up on the internet and dusting off the Shakespeare I really thought I wouldn’t be able to manage this. But, I haven’t got too tied up with trying to be fancy with the language, just tried to get the right number of lines and rhyme. I am not sure that the rhythm is right, but it’s my first go at a sonnet so I’m pleased that I gave it a go.
I am now going to have a look at the others- find them at http://www.linkytools.com/wordpress_list.aspx?id=139784&type=basic
I hope next week’s isn’t a poem!!
St George and the dragon- an attempt at a sonnet.
With you I’d like to share this tale of old:
When Fair England was in deepest despair.
A fearful dragon- water did withold
From the people whom he ate with out care.
(He soon had grown tired of feasting on sheep.)
Lots were drawn deciding who’d be the bait
Chosen ones tore out their hair and did weep
For the gruesome end that would be their fate.
When the King’s daughter was next for the chop,
For the gruesome end that would be their fate.
When the King’s daughter was next for the chop,
Returned from the crusades a valiant knight .
George drew his sword , prayed to God, and cried “STOP!”
The dragon could not overcome his might.
At last the fearful dragon had been slayed
And that’s how our patron Saint George was made.
Anna, this is fabulous! And you managed to write it about the suggested topic as well - clever you! The language you used has a real feel of times gone by as well.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd probably change the 4th line to "From people whom he ate without a care" as that would help the stress fall on better syllables (peo whom ate out care) instead of (the ple he with care) and I'd probably change "had" and "soon" in the next line for the same reason (He soon had grown).
I really loved it though.
No worries about nagging me to do one - it did me good to have someone stopping me taking the coward's way out and waiting for an easier week!
Thanks for those suggestions SJ- it scans better now :)
DeleteI also tweaked the line "Lots were chosen" and the next one.
I think it works better now (though am still reeling from the brilliantness of fireflyphil's!)
I like this. I'm remembering that I actually do like this sort of story. I couldn't think of any way to approach the subject, but now I'm thinking a little of Game of Thrones ... but I could be giddy because I haven't slept yet. :)
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your as always...thanks for stopping by and commenting :-D
DeleteI really liked this. It had a very authentic ring to it.
ReplyDeleteThankyou,I tried hard to get the pattern right.
DeleteWell done, Anna - you've even got the story in there! Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading and commenting. Would have liked to be more 'old fashioned' but pleased got the syllables and rhymes!
DeleteI love this, it retells the story so well. I went for the funny bone I'm afraid, much prefer yours! Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThankyou so much. I have enjoyed reading everyone's this week.
DeleteAnna, I think you did a fantastic job .. you're more tallented with verse than you give yourself credit for.
ReplyDeleteAlways a pleasure to read your posts.
Thats very kind of you. I thoroughly enjoy these challenges. Next step is to extend my ideas...
DeleteTrying again! I loved this. It has great pace & the rhyming feels very natural. I agree with Andrea - you have a talent for poetry Anna!
ReplyDeleteThankyou :-) really appreciate that.
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