January has 8693403 days

 It's February at  last. The sun is shining and the sky is blue.  Goodness how I have missed the sunshine. During the darker mornings and evenings I often wonder what it must be like to live in a part of the world where darkness is the norm for months of the year. 

Does mindfulness play a part in getting through days and weeks with little or no natural light or is it 'the norm'.  Winter months are a challenge for many with relentless grey skies, post festivity back to work and routine. 

That being said, taking a few moments to notice what's around, to be grateful for the here and now does make even the greyest wettest day (slightly) less grim.

Look what I came across today: 

Just beautiful. 

Spring is on the way

It's ( nearly) Christmas

 So the end of term happened and the blogging dipped off as the pace of term and inevitable viruses ramped up.

So have I disproved my previous posts about finding time to be mindful even when busy.

No, I'd say practising mindfulness has been key to maintaining a calm purposeful approach to what life throws each day.  Have I blogged about it each week? No

Have I been practising mindfulness , oh yes. And spreading the word amongst colleagues, friends and family.

I'll upload a guided meditation which I hope brings peace and calm .

Worry? Me?!

Accepting impermanence is often quoted as a key to adopting and embracing mindfulness.

Easier said than done. If I had a penny for every time I worried about things that might/could happen I'd be very rich.  It's hard not to think about the ifs and the maybes. Harder still if you're the type of person who is loyal, empathetic... Sound familiar?

So do we just not give a thought to the what ifs and the maybes? Do we live for the moment, not dwell on what's happened and just wait to experience everything as it happens?

This is the joy of mindfulness. There isn't a definitive answer here. It's about making the most of things; embracing the ups and downs; accepting that sometimes things don't work out - and sometimes they do.

I'm a list maker, I'm a planner, I like to know what's happening and I like to be able to have some modicum of control about how my life goes. But I also know that s*&7 happens and the best laid plans can go astray.

I don't know exactly what I'm gung to be doing a year from now which is both scary and liberating. Does that even make sense? What I do know is that what's happening now is good so I'm going to make the most of it.

Am I going to worry about what may or may not happen? Probably, but it is what it is. What I do know is that I will carry on enjoying the love of family and friends, change of seasons, friendships , the local area . 

Enjoy being.

And breathe through the worries...

October Wordcloud

 

I do rather like these, it's interesting to see the ebbs and falls of the words each month.

Mindfully being kind

I found out this week that the image below is an ancient symbol for mindfulness: 

I read that the top of the character is symbolic of the roof of houses in Japan and represents protection and presence- sound familiar? This is the Japanese character for house:

The lower part of the character  (under the 'roof') is representative of the heart. This is the Japanese symbol for heart:

These two characters of 'mind and heart' combine in the character for mindfulness and it struck me as particularly beautiful as it really captures the meaning of mindfulness as so much more than 'being present' or 'awareness' but implies the meaning of mindfulness as being awareness from the heart.

How beautiful.

 Now I am not an expert in Japanese characters in the slightest so I have endeavoured to fact check this and haven't found anything that states that I have made an error so I am hopeful that my reading is accurate.

For me this supports my whole approach to mindfulness- being kind, being thoughtful and aware of how we all impact the world around us. I think too often mindfulness is compartmentalised, categorised and put into 'boxes' which say how, when and where to 'do mindfulness'. I see it as something far more transcendental.  It is about living, listening, caring, appreciating, sharing, loving...  And something that is too big to be easily defined. 

I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences of mindfulness but will almost certainly be giving a lot more questions than answers. What does mindfulness mean to you?  Is lt possible to live mindfully in the busy 21st century?

Can you choose kindness?

 

 

It's not all about meditation

 I have been asked to talk at a WI meeting next year. Plenty of time to think about how to go about it.

I can't help thinking about how Tony Blair got it so so wrong with an audience of the WI and the dearly departed queen got it so right HM Elizabeth II

I won't be talking politics and I am not a British monarch so won't have the level of expectation that would have met those two, but I do feel a sense of responsibilty to not mess it up! 

As part of my mindfulness course ( MTTC ) I was able to have a 1-2-1 session with an experienced Dharma teacher, Suchitra Senoy who gently listened as I shared my thoughts.  I haven't yet got a plan (I don't think I need to do 3 months ahead of time!) but I am feeling confident that I can share some insights and give some practical takeaways to the group.

Mostly I intend to demystify and myth bust and show the positives and benefits of living mindfully.

Maybe I will share a recipe at the end too ;) And that isn't me trying to be 'cute'. Go with what I beleive in, share things that I have experienced and show that mindfulness is so much more than meditation. 

It's October

 With the onset of Autumn and darker evenings and mornings there's been a noticeable change in the daily chit-chat .

'irs so cold / dark/ grey/ wet/ grim,' and so on.

I must admit that getting out of bed when it's pitch dark and chilly isn't my most favourite thing to do.

BUT ( and it's a big but) consider the alternative... What if today was the last day you had? What if the words you say to someone are the last you say or the last they hear.

Sometimes a good old moan is just what's needed , but with each anniversary of my journey around the sun I feel increasingly fortunate to be here, to have my loved ones , to have the luxury of being able to moan about the things that don't really matter. 

Mindfulness: noticing what's happening now, being aware , doing kind things. These bring a sense of calm and peace. I've had more journeys round the sun than I have left ( unless something pretty phenomenal happens with medicine !) and I want to live and find pleasure in things that can go unnoticed. 

I won't lie, dark mornings and evenings aren't my favourites, but blankets , candles, fires, hot chocolate and even more blankets are great! And all that rain is filling up the water butts nicely on the allotment! 

Being kind to yourself- a story

 This month I have been receiving a daily email from Shamash Alidina (here ) and it has been a great point of focus during the working week to read the email and take a few moments.  

Moving forward this is something that I may do on the blog- a weekly update perhaps with a meditation. I will work on that idea...

In the meantime, I would like to share the story that Shamash sent out last week as it's been one that has resonated particularly well for me trying not to let the old impersonator syndrome come to the surface as a newbie at work.

Enjoy

***

Once upon a time there was a water bearer who carried two pots of water to his teacher each day.

Each day he would walk to the nearest stream, fill both pots with water, and walk back, one pot on each side of a pole he carried across his neck.

One pot was cracked, and so by the time the water bearer reached his teacher, it was only half full.

This continued for two years, with the water bearer only bringing one and a half pots of water.

The perfect pot was proud of its achievements.

The cracked pot was sad that it could only do half the job it was supposed to do.

One day, the cracked pot said to the water bearer, ‘I feel so upset and ashamed. I’m imperfect and I can’t hold a full pot of water. What use am I to anyone?’

The water bearer told the cracked pot to look on the ground as he carried it.

The cracked pot noticed the most beautiful wild flowers and plants on its side of the path.

The water bearer explained, ‘When I realised you were cracked, I decided to plant seeds on one side of the path, and every day, as you leak, you water that side of the path.

If you weren’t cracked, these gorgeous flowers wouldn’t be here for all to enjoy.’

Moral of the Story: Sometimes you may think you’re not perfect, or your mindfulness practise is not perfect, but how do you know?

This story goes to show that even a cracked pot can be seen as perfect just as it is.

In the same way, you’re perfect just the way you are, with all your imperfections – they’re what make you unique.

So, thank you for being a cracked pot!

***

How to be busy and mindful.

 New job is now a couple of weeks in and I am getting used ( slowly) to being the newbie at work. Plenty of opportunities to practice mindfulness!

I'd be lying if I said I was feeling on top of everything; and why would I be anyway?! So many things to take in. But taking a mindful approach and, perhaps most importantly, catching myself when I start to overthink/overplan is what I have been, and intend to carry on doing.

The standing posture when waiting for the photocopier or in the staffroom waiting to get to the coffee, the walking from one classroom to another, the time between, before and after the lessons. Coming home and really enjoying the cup of tea in the garden ( thank you late summer sun) or inside are all times to stop and just be. All of these are manageable during the busy day. Why is there so much emphasis on being busy all the time. I have gone down that road. I choose the path of taking more time to notice and act, to think and reflect, to respond not react - and when I take an unexpected turning I'll go with it and see what occurs and deal with it at the time. 

Back to the title- how to be busy and mindful; be a little less busy and a little more aware of the taste of the cup of coffee/tea, take time in a queue to breathe and just be in the moment, go outside ( even in the rain- have a coat!) and be kind to yourself and those around you.

This is one of my favourite quotes and I will unashamedly keep sharing it. 

September wordcloud

 

What is mindfulness?

Read an interesting piece this morning Here

Interesting to read views around the monetisation of mindfulness. Also some examples of businesses using it in a non mindful way 

Currently, mindfulness is unregulated in the UK as it's not a medical service in the way that seeing a psychiatrist or a counsellor is, but it's still a service that can support vulnerable people and therefore a mindfulness teacher has a duty of care to ensure the safety and confidentiality of participants.

I'm hoping to develop my practice and ultimately take classes/sessions and would ideally provide at no cost.  Employers have to take care of their employees ( well I'm not sure they HAVE to, but the good ones do) and money is put aside for CPD in many organisations. Wouldn't it be great for mindfulness to be recognised as a great way to support people . Prevention better than cure and all that. 

Rather than pay lip service and offer a one hour mindfulness/yoga session every now and again or just as a one off so that it can go into the HR folder, why not investigate providing regular sessions for staff to support their wellbeing . Within the working day.

Being part of a group of around 80 mindfulness teachers nearing completion of the MTTC run by Christopher Titmuss and his daughter Nshorna with support from mindfulness teachers from the US, Germany and India is a real.ptivilige and I'm excited to see where we all take our mindfulness practice moving forward. 

What is mindfulness? Something worth exploring.

"Mindfulness isn't difficult, we just need to remember to do it."

- Sharon Salzberg

Sleep tight

 Since the post about anxiety dreams I haven't had another one. 

I have been reading this from 'Calm' . Sleep habits are certainly a fascinating topic and I have several friends and close family members who really struggle with sleep so I like to think I have an element of understanding.

It could be somewhat disingenuous to credit mindfulness practice to stopping anxiety dreams, but I definitely believe that breathing and meditation can be exctremely beneficial. I woudl go as far as to suggest seeking medical support should sleeplessness/disturbed sleep patterns become problematic.  As a female going through menopause with hormones doing their own thing there are things that my body is doing that I have little control over. I have seen so many benefits and improvements to my sense of wellbeing as a result of embedding practices into my everyday life .

So, try breathing exercises before going to bed, try a body scan  or other meditation either in bed or just before going to bed. It will help to build routines and develop practice and might even allow for a longer and deeper sleep.

This article from mindful,org has lots more tips and suggestions.

Anxiety dreams and mindfulness part two

Well I carried out my intention last night and began with a loving kindness meditation when I went to bed . I then followed it with a body scan.  I'll add these to the blog in the coming weeks.

I have to admit to falling asleep before I finished the scan.  I then slept right through , no anxiety dreams . Chance? Luck? Result? I don't think I can give an answer at this point. Certainly food for thought...

New job starts tomorrow so I'll carry on each night this week and update at the weekend.

Anxiety dreams and mindfulness

 My new job begins this week and I am very excited for this. However, the last few nights have been somewhat restless with the onset of anxiety dreams.

Once up and awake it is easy to see them for what they are, acknowledge them and move on with my day. But it has got me thinking about how to use mindfulness strategies to deal with these. Something I haven't tried yet is to try a meditation before going to bed to address the fact that anxiety ( even at a subconscious level) is totally OK in this situation and will pass. I shall give this a try tonight and see if it makes a difference. 

A couple of interesting articles about dreams here from the British psychological society and here from Psychology today

It's quite usual for me before taking on something new to have broken sleep and anxiety dreams and maybe is just what it is. But I will do a body scan and guided meditation later this evening and will write tomorrow to share the outcome...

Mindfulness and nature

 Recently we were lucky enough to take on an allotment. 

This morning as I was weeding to give the half a dozen teeny carrots and a dozen or so little lettuces that have made it through the germination stage I was amazed to see how the morning had passed without seeming to have been there for more than half an hour.

Was I being fully mindful the whole time that I was there?  With the sun on my back, warm soil between my fingers and a growing pile of weeds there were certainly many moments where I was fully aware of the environment around me from buzzing bugs and bees  to a tiny ladybird, to weeds that seemed to go all the way through the earth's crust and the delicate seedlings that we have been nurturing.

Look at these teeny lettuces! 

Look carefully and you can spot the even teenier carrots!

And yes, I did take time to just sit and take in what was around me. Being outside , getting hands-on with nature and (hopefully) enjoying the produce at some point is certainly great for wellbeing. And this is coming from someone who has never been into gardening. Houseplants have always been more my thing. But whether it is inside or out, large or small, being in touch with nature and helping things grow is certainly somethng that I find calming , rewarding and enjoyable. 

I will update this in January/February when the sun is unlikely to be beating down and the clay rich soil will be a very different entity to today.

Stepping along the road of mindfulness

 I have been considering the use of the word 'journey'. It's one that is often used in reality programmes where contestants describe their journey and how much they learned from it and so on.

A journey can be descibed as a method of getting from one place to another when used as a noun.

The word journey used as a verb has a slightly different meaning- to travel somewhere.

I'm using the word journey quite metaphorically in this blog- I don't see mindfulness as something that can be boxed up into a neat beginning , middle and end where the end point is some kind of enlightenment that will result in an existence where  all is shimmery and perfect. I use the word journey to illustrate my growing interest, practices and learning about mindfulness as teacher and learner and that I see this journey as a continuum rather than discrete.

I daresay that I will look back through these posts and have further thoughts around this; and that in itself illustrates that there should be no limits to the definitions of mindfulness. I shall finish for now with a return to the importance of love and kindness.  At the end of the day, having intentions with love and kindness at the forefront is what really matters . I will keep striving to find words to convey this. All part of this journey of curious discovery.

©akhalford 2024

How to be mindful in three steps

 

©  Charlie Mackesy

I love this quote from The boy, The mole,The fox and the horse . So much so that I have a T shirt with this on. 

Three steps to mindfulness:

1) Be kind 

2) Be kind 

3) Be kind 

By being kind to our friends and family (quite easy); to ourselves (harder) and to strangers,the wider world and even those who may have wronged us (harder still) we are recognising that observed, considered  responses can bring calm, peace, joy; they can de-escalate a situation; they're the antithesis to drama .

And it can be contagious. 

A guided meditation on thankfulness

 I recently led a talk on how mindfulness can bring a greater sense of joy and curiosity into daily lives.

Through being present and fully aware of our immediate environment and by bringing a sense of curiosity to our daily lives  joy can be found in the most subtle ways.

I feel that it is important to acknowledge that mindfulness is so much more than a tool that can help dealing with challenge and stress. The benefits of mindfulness practice are well documented in these areas, and I am not disputing the value of courses such as MBSR.

As I travel through my mindfulness journey I shall share my thoughts - it will be interesting to see how this journey progresses.

In the meantime, please do listen to this guided meditation on joyful gratitude  here

I hope that you enjoy it. I intend to add further meditations so watch this space.

Thank you.

August Wordcloud

 This is the wordcloud for this month. I will be interested to see how these change moving forward...

Coping with our busy lives using mindfulness

 In our busy lives it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of doing, worrying about what’s still to do, more doing and so on. Distractions from all around can add to the stresses of daily life and an overload of information can leave us feeling drained.  Add in artificial lighting, pinging emails, sitting at desks and so on and life can be a big rush from one thing to another.

I wrote a blog post last week about being too busy to be mindful as I realise that the act of suggesting trying something new can in itself be a stressful thing! These blog posts intend to bust some of the more common misconceptions around mindfulness and show how mindfulness is different for each and every person. There will be things that resonate and others that don't. 

I’d like to share some examples of activities that can be practised to help with stressful/challenging situations. Research has shown that regular mindfulness practices can help during times of intense stress which can trigger panic attacks; very intense and frightening experiences.   Mindfulness practices can help us to 'zoom out' and see the bigger picture—like watching the whole theatre, not just what is on the cinema screen. When we do this, we realise  the stressful situation is part of our experience, it is not 'who we are'. That’s easier said than done, but any perspective we can get during times of stress is likely to help ease the intensity and duration. 

As meditation offers relief from stress and challenge, the more you meditate, the better you’ll become at grounding yourself and observing your thoughts from a distance, like watching storm clouds pass by. With time and practice, you can train your mind to acknowledge these feelings without being overwhelmed. Each time you practice mindfulness during challenging moments, you strengthen your mental muscles. And the more you train, the better you can handle future panic attacks or any other challenges.

These are some strategies that can be helpful to use in daily life during times of stress:

3-3-3 rule : name three things you can see, three sounds you can hear and move three different body parts ( can be as simple as wiggling a finger/tapping foot/stretching hand)

5-5-5 rule: breathe in for 5, hold for five, release for five then identify five things you can see, 5 sounds you hear and five objects around you that you can touch.

However, if you are in an intensely stressful situation, being super aware of everything could make you feel even more panicked. During a time like this, controlled breathing or other mindfulness practices might be a better fit for you in that intense moment.

Deep, measured breathing can be one of the most effective ways to regain composure during a panic attack. Techniques like the 4-7-8 breathing method, where you inhale for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds, can help reset your nervous system.

 Another popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which makes you identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.  

Nasal breathing is often used in endurance activities and alternating nostril breathing can be very effiective at reducing stress ( see here ) 

 As stated previously, mindfulness can help with stress reduction and there are Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction courses  (MBSR) which focus more on this.

For me I have found the STOP approach the easiest one to remember (stop, take a breath, observe and proceed with caution and compassion) along with visualisation techniques that I came across whilst taking part in a PQ course a few years ago (https://www.positiveintelligence.com/ ) During a challenging conversation I try to visualise the other person as a child and this can help reduce feelings of anxiety, stress or anger ( and for me works better than the old standard imagine them naked) The thinking behind this is that when one thinks of a happy childhood memory it brings a sense of wellbeing and calm, so by thinking of that person as a child who was happy and carefree it can give the time to respond in a more measured and compassionate way.

Or to walk away! Assertiveness is a good thing and can be done in a non- aggressive way 😉

 

 There really is no one fits all approach.

Did you know we breathe more than 600million times in a lifetime. It's something that we do without giving it a second thought for most of the time. But breathing exercises can heip in so many ways.

More to be written on this for sure...